Penny sent Deb and I congratulations on our engagement (thanks!), but I'm not sure you could really call it an engagement since we've been hitched as far as we're concerned for a long time now (10 years in April; together for a total of 13yrs). It's more like a documentation. We're going to go to Canada, to Toronto to be specific, to jump the broom because those nice courts in Ontario said we could.

On the Ontario Office of the Registrar General application for a marriage licence (they spell license that funny way sometimes in Canada), there's one side labelled Bride and one side labelled Bridegroom where you put all your information. Guess who gets to be the groom. I need to take a look at all these rules and stuff to be sure we're all squared away. After we get the license, we have to go find a justice of the peace or judge to actually marry us.

Yesterday my sister asked what we wanted as a wedding present. We haven't even thought about that sort of thing. Hell, we haven't made room reservations, I don't know what I'm going to wear, I don't know how to find a justice of the peace in Canada. Do they have phone books in Canada? Do they have phones ... no, nevermind.

I'd like to tell all of our friends and family, "No, don't get us anything. Just your well wishes are enough." But you know, there's that nagging voice in the back of my head reminding me that marriage is one fucking huge way that queers get screwed in the free loot - slash - parents spending money on you department. Hets make out like bandits.

I mean, my straight sister, for her first marriage, got a big church wedding with flowers, photographer and all that crap, a sit-down steak dinner reception for about 100 people, and buttloads of silver and china and household stuff. I think my parents bought them a bunch of brand new furniture.

For my first marriage, to Deborah the First, we exchanged vows and rings in a state park next to a river, we had a party for about 12 friends afterwards, and I think we got champagne glasses and a set of towels. And that was nice for our friends to give us stuff. They were really nice towels.

But you can see that it just doesn't compare. We still had milk crate shelves when we moved to Atlanta.

When Deb and I exchanged rings and vows (at The Mountain in NC, next to a stream), the nice Unitarians gave us a free night's stay when my car broke down on the way down the mountain. I don't think we got anything from friends (we didn't know Sara and Jake yet). It's been a while; my memory may be wrong on that.

And, of course, we got diddly from the parents. This time around, when I told my mom that Deb and I were going to make it legal, she rolled her eyes. Thanks for the well-wishes, Mom. I don't feel so bad about that actually, because it's better than the reaction my straight sister got when she announced her second marriage.

So that's the status of all that. I need to talk to Deb about inviting people to attend whatever we do. I don't think anyone will come, but I want to let Jake and Sara and my sisters know that we'd love to have them be a part of it. Maybe we'll win the lottery sometime between now and then and we can fly folks in and have a big party.

I know it's just a piece of paper, and it won't make a damn bit of difference, but I kind of get choked up about making it official and finally getting to marry my sweetie.

This weekend we're headed up to Mentone, Alabama, for a little two-day B&B jaunt into the mountains. Not much to do, but it should be pretty. Unfortunately, I think there will be shopping involved. But it's Deb's birthday (47), and she deserves to get to go shopping on her birthday trip if she wants.

This is usually the time of year when we would go for a longer birthday holiday (like the Savannah and Cumberland Island trips), but I'm trying to conserve a little so that we can blow it out in Toronto a little. You know, spend those queers-gettin'-married tourist dollars to show our appreciation.

Miles to date on the Walking Nowhere odometer: 9.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11