So I'm back on the Weight Watchers plan. I'm at a slightly lower weight than when I ended the Fitness Challenge last summer, but about five pounds over the lowest weight that I hit (163.5). My goal was to get some good sleep last night and get up at 5:45 and start my weight training again. When I turned the light off at 12:20 for my second attempt to go to sleep, I figured I'd make a decision in the morning based on how rested I felt. At 5:45, I got up, did six push-ups, peed, fed the cats and went back to bed.

Motivation R Us.

So I think I'll join Marn's walking posse and see if I can do 500 miles this year. I'll send in my request to join and, once I get through the extreme hazing process, I'll post the little Going Nowhere link. Because I'm too cheap to join a gym where they have treadmills, I'll actually be going somewhere when I walk. Mostly around in 1.5-mile circles through my neighborhood. With a dog in tow. Or two. Or three. Which makes walking quickly in a specific direction much harder.

See, we have special guest dogs now. One of our Still-Employed-As-A-Flight-Attendant neighbors (as opposed to all of our Let-Go-After-9/11-Used-To-Be-Flight-Attendent neighbors) has finally worked out a deal with Deb to take care of his dogs after the zillionth break-out. These dogs are very sweet, but they don't get nearly as much attention as they need. And Deb wants one of them very badly to have as her very own. Sunshine, a dachshund, full of that digging, hunting, go-go-go instinct. The other dog is Daisy, a sadly obese dalmation.

Sunshine and Daisy. And Angel. I'm now regularly dealing with three dogs who have names that I myself would never, ever choose for a dog.

So, when Tony goes out of town, we'll take care of the dogs and try not to let them escape.

So am I going to be updating more now? Maybe. I'm going to give it a try. I really needed to disengage from the world for a while last year and deal just with my own immediate universe. I'm hoping it's time to engage again, but I'm not going to force it.

Will there be date reports? I don't think so. I still have amazing dates that are quite noteworthy, but I don't feel like writing about them. However, I might post more short fiction like the piece from the last entry. I have a plot rolling around in my head that has some potential, and the cool thing about it is that it's already falling into chapters. We'll see where that goes.

The most important thing for me this year is to stay in touch with my feelings and remember all the things I learned in therapy last year. Coping skills. Boundaries. Letting my own wants and needs be known. Communication. And while we're doing that, I'll try to keep up the healthy habits I started forming during the Fitness Challenge.

I still want to have breast reduction surgery, but I'm getting more skeptical about insurance and whether, if I had to lie to get insurance to pay for it, even though I feel they should, could I? Lying is something I have purged from my system to such an extent that it's hard to do it even just to be nice (e.g. "Yes, I like that color on you" when I don't), much less in an official capacity.

Things to look forward to: a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon in February. Getting married to my wife in April. I need to get our application for a marriage license filed.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11