Headlines:

Sun Sets on Coldest Day of Season
Hospital reports two victims of Hypothermia
From 65 to 11; it's getting cold outside
'We need to think about cold, how to handle it'
Propane Heater + Blower = Warmer Machine Shop
Gas Logs for Back-up Heating
Pets, Livestock Need Extra Care in Cold Weather
Utilities Co.s report increased demand during bitter cold week

I am not making that up

I especially love the Heater stories. Actually, they're not full stories but storypics (a photo with a longish caption), but it's placed like a full story on the website. The one about pets shows a bunch of chickens.

Speaking of pets, I'm now the favorite uncle of our pilot friend's dog. Our pilot friend, who I'll call Phoebe (after Phoebe F. Omlie) came over to our house for Thanksgiving to introduce us to her new GF, who I'll call Louise for no good reason, and her dog, Amelia (her real name), who is a border collie mix. Amelia really liked Angel's mooing cow toy, which I got from Target. Phoebe asked me to keep an eye out for one. Here's how the exchange went after I found one.

Phoebe,

I found a cow dog toy for Amelia. It's the exact same kind as Angel's but I couldn't find a black-and-white one. This one is beige and brown, which makes it not look so much like a cow. I think it looks more like a pig. A pig that moos. I'll send it along. I'm sure Amelia won't care that the bovine styling is a little off.

Badsnake

Badsnake,

Sounds great, I'm sure she'll love it. And it's good timing too. Amelia's favorite stuffed lamb was unfortunately found decapitated in the back yard yesterday. We are deeply saddened by this tragedy, and are beginning a full investigation. This is yet another in a chain of vandalisms yesterday, including a tube of toothpaste, a roll of toilet paper, and a box of crayons. Amelia denies all knowledge of these crimes; she was not available for comment at the time this article was written.

Phoebe

Phoebe,

Hmmmm. The lamb incident sounds suspiciously similar to a Santa decapitation that happened in our house.

Amelia's cow should be there on Friday (via FedEx). When packed in the box, it sort of looks like a mutant cow-pig that's passed out in a drunken stupor. Or perhaps from fear (news of the prevalence of plush decapitations spreads fast).

Badsnake

Dear Badsnake and Deb,

We received your package in the mail today, and in it were pleased to find The-Pig-That-Moos. We have spent this afternoon in an orgy of frenzied mooing. We do not want to play with Big Mean Kitty. We do not want a Kong with peanut butter in it. We want nothing more than to spend time with The-Pig-That-Moos, and to explore the many wonderful noises it emits. Thank you so much for your kindness. Even now the house echoes with joyous mooing.

Lovingly,

Amelia, Phoebe and Louise

Nothing says fun like joyous mooing. There's one tip that I plan to send to Phoebe: if you squeeze the pig-that-moos rhythmically in certain ways, you can sort of play mooing tunes. My favorite is Hava Nagila.

The toy's mooing sounds kind of like a cow with a deviated septum. There's a little squeak at the end. So Hava Nagila sounds like Moo-Mooo [squeak], moo-moo-moo-moooo-moo [squeak], moo-moo-moo-mooo-moo [squeak], moo-moo-moo-MOOOO [squeak], moo-MOOOO [squeak].

We're off to Watershed for Deb's birthday dinner tonight. We've all always wanted to try it and never have.