I have a new fan of Badsnake, McKenzie, who's 12. Shut up, Gawain. I won't even go into how much denial and "not thinking about it" resources I have to employ to deal with knowing that 12 year olds read this journal on occasion. But I'm sure it's just the tame, day-to-day life entries and not the candidly raunchy ones. I know they skip over those.

Anyway, McKenzie seems to be looking for advice on several matters, including her potential bisexuality and who to trust with that information.

I don't remember worrying about this stuff when I was in middle school. I do remember that the girls basketball team, which happened to be made up of the coolest girls in school, went through a phase of calling themselves lesbians, kissing in the cafeteria (short pecks, not long sloppy ones), and lots of putting their arms around each other. I was not part of that clique. I wished I was. And no one made fun of them either. So really, it's not what you're called at that age, it's who you are and who you hang out with. There's the A group that can do whatever the fuck they want, and everyone else is a potential victim.

Anyway, my opinion is that 12 is too young to make any decisions on your sexuality. Why feel the need to call yourself one thing or the other? Most kids don't even bother growing a smidgeon of humanity until later on in their teens anyway. Friendship is good, crushes are fine, but anything beyond that is just fodder for the preteen drama machine.

I think at that age (and lots of ages, frankly), kids have a "better you than me" survival mentality. If I find out something about you that will make you look like a bigger freak than me if I talk about it, woo-hoo, consider it done. That sucks. And it's not fair. So my advice is to stay out of the line of fire as much as possible.

Do stuff that you find enjoyable with people who treat you nicely, study, and when the time comes that it really counts, you will be the catch. You'll be the person who has an actual personality who's not just mimicker of the masses.

And as for the boy who thinks you're "too chubby" to go out with? Tell him to kiss your shiny metal ass. Boys at that age have absolutely zero, zero I'm tellin' ya, to offer. They are grubby embryos. They might as well still be in the womb for how much mental development they've achieved at that point. Grown men would agree with me. And the skinny girls who get all the attention? The ones who diet? Or throw up? Fuhkt-up. They are totally screwing themselves for later on in life, if they live that long.

Take it from Uncle Badsnake, you're fine the way you are, but hold your emotional cards close to the vest. At this time in your life, that's your private stuff and nobody else's.

I don't know why I've dedicated so much space to this issue. Whenever I'm reminded of how mean kids are to each other, I just want to kick some little snothead asses.