For the first time in 3.5 years, I cancelled my date with Sara.

See, I'm a big proponent of staying the hell away from anybody you can when you feel like you're getting sick. An angry, pissy, vehement proponent. You are not helping me out if you come to work sick. You are stealing days of my future, and not just work days, but days of my own time too.

I've had the sniffles all day and my eyes feel hot. I'm hoping that maybe I'm not getting badly sick but that the stress of last Friday is catching up to me. If I veg out tonight and take it easy and maybe sleep in in the morning, maybe I'll nip this thing in the bud.

But I sure don't need to pass it directly to Sara by putting my tongue in her mouth. She was very understanding.

By the way, Gawain, who happens to have an enormous erect cock, is the funniest guy on Diaryland. I wish he would send me a picture.

I loved the Poptart line. That was still amusing me the morning after I read it.

Hope his wife likes the porn I sent her. I'm trying to convert her to lesbianism like I do every other woman I come in contact with.

If nobody else sends her porn, I'm sure to win the big prize, which I'm hoping is a photo of Gawain's humongous erect cock.

Any comments on the new design? Does it take too long to load? I put the snakes on to scare Deb away. (Just kidding, honey.)

Maybe versions of "If this page is red ..." will catch on all over D-land. Why not? What do you have better to do with your time? You Legionairres let me know if you make up one of your own and use it on your page.

I got Google hits for "my orgasm," "bloody tampon," and "handcuff girl." All in a day's work, folks. You just can't cover topics this diverse without a little elbow grease. And everyone who reads this page knows how I like to get my elbows greasy.

I can't believe I cancelled a date.

Better go eat some soup now.