And let me provide this disclaimer: I am a big supporter of copyrights and ownership of creative work, so I try to link to anything I post here so that traffic goes where traffic's due. But the way the Atlanta Journal-Constitution constructs their website moves links after they're current. So my links to their articles become broken after about a day, so I'm going to start including their generic site address, byline where appropriate, and the date published for articles that I refer to.

Today the topic is once again the Georgia Roadbuilders Association and their white-flighter targeted ads. There's a fabulous editorial (unsigned, by the editorial board) that I just have to quote.

(c) Atlanta Constitution, March 22, 2001; Editorial Page; from "Disregard road builders' propaganda"

"The road builders are mad because Atlanta's long-standing refusal to get a handle on its automobile-related air pollution has caused a lengthy delay in road funding, and they have made themselves dependent on that government teat. But do they blame state or local governments, the automobile industry, developers or � heaven forbid � themselves for the pollution problem and myriad other spin-off effects of the region's abysmally managed growth?

Nah. They blame the pesky environmentalists, who are insisting that the state comply with national laws aimed at protecting the environment for everyone � even the highway builders and their families. Environmentalists have the temerity to argue that the right to clean air and water is as important as the right to live in your car, if you so choose.

Employing a level of subtlety and sophistication last seen in 1950s Soviet propaganda, the road builders are airing a pair of TV ads claiming those evil bunny-lovers are 'preventing us from driving cars and forcing us to live downtown.'

Oh, you laugh, but any day now the eco-Gestapo will show up at your cul-de-sac, demand the keys to your house and car, stuff you into a bus and deliver you to your new coat closet on the 15th floor of the Equitable building.

The imagery they choose is priceless, too. One opens with a Technicolor scene of a white mom unloading groceries from her minivan as her son plays, dressed for soccer. 'Don't let Atlanta's environmental activists take away your right to live where you want and drive when you want,' the voice intones. 'They're trying to use laws and lawsuits to move families out of the suburbs and into downtown.' The ad switches from color to black and white as an image of downtown, clearly meant to be frightening, appears, followed by a shot of black people getting off a bus. (Get it? In your car, you're safe from the scary black people.)"

Badsnake back: That's not the whole editorial, just a portion. I'm having to type it myself because my ISP's phone number is busy at the moment, so that's all I'm typing. And here's Mike's eloquent 'toon:

Copyright Mike Luckovich 2001

I could almost go for Sunflower's little plan, except I don't want all those whiney white suburban SUV-ers and their sticky children spoiling my colorful quaint downtown area. I can just see them stumbling around aimlessly, getting in my way, leaving trails of Pampers and Pokemon in the wake of their REI baby strollers, and scaring the nice homeless people who bum cigarettes off me.

Maybe I'll round up an army of beavers (because I want to be as appropriately crass and rude as I can possibly be) and herd the suburbanites and their cars into the vast stip-mined valleys, cover them with Geogia clay and plant pine trees, dogwoods, and rhododendrons.

Deb went to CVS and got me some tissues and rented a couple videos for me (I got the VCR working this morning). She spoils me rotten. She brought me "Blacula" and "The Replacements." I'd also asked for "Soylent Green," but they didn't have it. I think it's a good double-bill, don't you? If I ever get off the computer and lie down to watch them, that is. Deb's working tonight, though, so I should have plenty of free time.

I want to let Pischina know that I, too, have witness the gang-rape-looking behavior that is the mating ritual for ducks. I was at a women's festival one May long ago when a bunch of male ducks started stuffing it to one female. You should've seen what an uproar this caused when witnessed by a couple thousand dykes. I thought those crunchy granola, PETA-member, hard-core vegan wimmin were going to wring some boy duck necks. I was hoping maybe we'd have real meat for dinner that night.

And just for everyone's enjoyment, here's my first of what I'm sure will be a series of attempts to convert Pischina to lesbianism (see my guestbook):

Baby, once you've had the snake, you'll never have time to bake.

No, it doesn't make any sense, but it rhymes and it's really, really cheesy. I can't even blame that on cold medicine because I haven't taken any.

Seriously, the best thing about lesbian sex is no beard burn and nothing to swallow. What more could you want?