I've had a couple questions posed in my Guestbook that I'd like to address. The most recent is, "What is flogging?"

A flogger is a set of straps, usually leather, attached to a handle. Mine is a pretty common variety. The handle is about 8" long and the girth of a regular-to-slender dick (and yes, with a condom thrown over it makes a great impromptu dildo), the straps are about 2.5 feet long and one inch wide.

For flogging, you stand back a few feet and strike your bottom with the straps landing on his/her back (avoiding the neck, ribs, spine, kidneys), chest, tits, thighs, crotch (lightly), or ass. You can "throw" the flogger backhanded or forehanded. Some people hold the tails in their free hand until just before the release to get more control.

I've been flogged myself, so that I know what it feels like, and it's kind of like being slapped. Generally the top will start out with a mild stroke and build up intensity over time. I've never gotten to flog anyone who could take the heaviest stroke I could dish out. Though I've observed bottoms who could, and I'd like to do that some day.

The thinner the straps, the sharper the sting. Conversely, there are also floggers made with so many wide straps that it feels more like getting a pounding massage (or so I understand), or being whapped on the back with one of those Nerf bats (but heavier). I've seen big, strong tops sweating and panting from the effort of swinging one of those heavy thudders while their bottom, chained up to a St. Andrews Cross or just leaning against a wall, is purring like a kitten in happy ecstasy.

Thanks for your question, Rev. It put Deb in the mood for flogging, so we just had a nice session on this wonderful, rainy, thundery morning.

Please ask me about fisting. I haven't gotten to do that in a long time.

The question about how the four of us got together has a long and confusing answer with a different version to be told from each of us. It basically came from a misunderstanding, and I still don't fully comprehend how it all came about.

I'll give you my version, with notes on where I now know confusion and misinterpretation played a part. And we got together early in the fall of '97, so there's some time-fogging as well.

Go way back in time. Like '93. Deb and I were within the first two years of our relationship, and she had a one-weekend fling with another woman while she was out of town. That was really bad. My first wife had left me for another woman, whom I'd been very understanding about her attraction to, but was so confident in the solidity of our relationship that I never thought she'd leave me. I was very, very anti-sharing.

Deb came home, 'fessed up immediately, and we had a big fight. I cried. She cried. But I didn't want to leave her, and she didn't want to leave me. So we worked it out. Over the next several years, regaining trust. You'd have to know Deb really, really well to understand why she did it. So don't think less of her. It doesn't bother me any more. Though I asked her never to tell me who it was, for fear I might go kill the bitch. I still don't know and don't want to.

Jump forward to '97. Deb works at a bookstore with Jake, and a really cute little dyke I'll call Irresponsible Girl (IG). Deb has a huge crush on Jake, but never does anything about it for fear of crossing that line again and hurting me. We both have a crush on IG, and each of us has kissed her several times (with each other's consent). She's adorable and seems willing, but never comes through.

At that time, I wasn't attracted to Jake on anything but a superficial level. She's reserved, and I didn't know her well enough to have gotten past that. I had met Sara once, maybe twice. I knew she liked "The Tick" as much as I did, and that she was bisexual, and that she and Jake had an open relationship.

* This is where the confusion begins, so this is just how I remember it.

One day, Deb told me that Jake had told her that Sara was attracted to me. I was all, "Get out. She doesn't even know me." And my ego was not big enough to consider that someone would be attracted by my looks alone.

Deb invited them to dinner. Once along with another couple, and once with just them and us. I got to know Jake a little better. Sara I still didn't really have a feel for.

One night�and again, this is my version�Jake called up to talk with Deb, but before she asked me to hand over the phone, she told me that if I was ever interested in playing with (topping) her and Sara, they would be open to that possibility.

I was floored. I picked up my chin off the floor, and said something like, "Wow, that's great, but I don't think I'm really ready for that. Yet." Which, in retrospect, sounds like the first time a woman ever made a pass at me. That chick had been looking at me meaningfully and telling me she wanted to "get to know me better" so much I was starting to think she was a freak. She finally had to spell it out for me and say, "Badsnake, I'm a lesbian. I want to get to know you better. *accompanied by eyebrow waggle*"

"Oh," said I. "I'm not. ... Yet." We were fucking before the sun rose.

So you get the drift.

I was amazed by the concept that a couple I would categorize as friendly acquaintences would propose such a thing. My head would've swollen to huge proportions had my disbelief of the situation not tempered it.

*Here's why this part is confusing. According to Sara, even after the dinners over at our house, she was still intimidated by me and thought I was some grumpy bulldagger who probably didn't like her very much because she was bi and therefore not a "real" lesbian. I'm not really very talkative with new people, so I can see where she might have gotten this impression. We think that the "Sara likes you" report from Deb arose from some misinterpretation of something Jake said.

*Jake has very little or no recollection of that phone call, and thinks that maybe she had the impression that I wanted to play with them, and was just politely letting me know that that wasn't out of the question.

We invited Jake and Sara to come on our yearly Florida week-long vacation. The couple (my ex-wife and her current girlfriend [not the one she left me for]�god, lesbians are incestuous) who had been sharing our condo had broken up, so, natch, they couldn't come.

Deb and I spent the next couple months leading up to said vacation taking long walks and talking about the possibility of having sex with Jake and Sara. Mostly about me having sex with Jake or Sara. Deb didn't think I would ever let her sleep with Jake, but she was very encouraging about the prospect of me topping one or both of them. Those conversations made us both horny, and we had lots of great sex that summer.

I spent that vacation paying very close attention to Sara. Learning who she was, thinking about whether or not I could have sex with someone, her in particular, other than my wife, and thinking about how or when I might find the opportunity to kiss her. This was accompanied by bouts of insecurity with me asking Deb if she was sure that Sara had said she was attracted to me. She really didn't act much like it.

*She was still in mild intimidation phase. I found that out later.

*And this is the end of the confused portion or our story. The rest I'm certain about.

By the end of the week, I was totally hot for Sara, quite enamored, and due to necessity because I had forgotten to bring a vibrator with me, I had masturbated to orgasm without the aid of electricity for the first time in my life ... but I had not kissed Sara.

After we'd been home a week or two, I worked up the nerve to send Sara an e-mail. I just found it on my hard drive, so I can share the exact wording.

"Hey Sara,

Listen, um, I really enjoyed getting to know you better this week [trying to catch your eyes a whole bunch to see if I could find some sign that you are actually attracted to me, as I've been told--a skill I'm very bad at] and enjoyed your company [imposed a lot of agonizing sexual tension on myself, which yielded some positive side effects for Deb].

Remember how my sister said that Great Britain is like a whole country full of _insert Badsnake's surname_s [who would look forward more to chopping off an appendage than saying something that might be construed as awkward, or discussing intimate feelings of any kind]? That was a good one, huh?

Anyway, [digs toe of boot into dirt and stares at ground, hoping that this seems adorably shy and not exasperating], I think you're really cool [I think you're hot], and hope that we can get to know each other better still [I want you].

Deb says hi [Deb is all for it, of course, but says that if I do any courtship type stuff that she'd better not get short-changed on any extra attention or presents that get doled out]. Send Jake my love [I'm not forgetting about Jake, who is wonderful in her own right, but I'm not up to a 1-on-2 thing--assuming The Offer still stands after y'all have been around me for a week solid--yet, and I'd rather focus my attention on you for now, if you're interested].

[Of course, it's perfectly OK if you're not.]

Attached is the story we talked about [a symbolic token to signify my offer of courtship in the hope that one thing will lead to another, including, but not limited to or bound by, an incredible and private first kiss which I anticipate feeling down to the tip of every nerve ending and which is one of my favorite things; a nice bit of love making during which I can do some exploring and find your likes and dislikes; and a lovely scene of some sort to be determined later]."

Woo. Was I suave or what? Sara accepted the offer, and we started negotiating. I wanted to ease into the situation by incorporating some old-fashioned courting techniques.

Sara and I first went on a regular date to a movie ("G.I. Jane," a perfect choice for us), after which I took her for a ride on the back of my motorcycle. I pulled over on a dark residential side street, took off my helmet, twisted around, told her to take off her helmet too, and that's where I kissed her for the first time. "Hot" doesn't begin to describe it.

I bought a couple small presents for Sara (sentimental) and Jake (a suck-up to the primary partner gift).

Later on we had our first sex date. Deb was all excited for me and wanted all the details. A while after that, Deb and Jake had their first sex date. I handled that better than I had expected, but learned fast that I didn't want to know the details. Everything proceeded from there. The four of us got closer and closer over time and grew into a family.

And that's my version of how it all started.

We talked about the different versions and understandings briefly at breakfast this morning, and Jake suggested that she, Sara and Deb get to post their own versions on my diary page. I think that would be really cool. If they write it, I'll post it.

Have a good Sunday, y'all. Mine started out great already.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11