That person didn't stay very long, which is too bad, 'cause I think I have very clear definitions about how to sex this snake.

Also got a hit from: drunken+college+boy. That person stayed more than six minutes and two page views.

I was vacuuming the house yesterday. I've progressed to the back corner of the house, which is the bedroom. I'm vroomming along the area rug when Molly comes surging up from behind the bed. It would've been a great leap on the way to a spectacular escape. Except that she had the vibrator cord wrapped around her neck.

Sure, it's funny now.

She was like a fast-motion, live action tether ball, bouncing, leaping, gyrating from floor to bedside table to the side of the bed with the vibrator itself banging along with her.

Apparently the cat strategy for trying to free oneself from a vibrator cord is to panic and panic hard, jump up in the air, claw anything that tries to stop you, and try to tie your rather pudgy, basketball-shaped body into a knot.

I had to catch her on a downward arc, hold her down on the bed, and pull the cord off her neck.

She decided to spend the next hour sulking behind the couch and pretending she meant to do that. Not a good day for the kitty ego.

I talked to my mom, back from the Amazon, last night. She had a great time. She said the food was wonderful (fresh fruit, vegetables and fish, which is what she's into way more than anything creamed or fried), she made lots of new pals, Yorubas and tourists alike, and scored some piranha teeth.

The Galapagos weren't what she'd hoped for, even though the recent oil slick completely turned out to sea and didn't effect the islands at all. And the tour guide for that portion of the trip tried to rip them off, asking for tip amounts for himself and the crew that were about 800 percent higher than what the tour organizing company suggested.

Mom said the boat crew was great and tipped them twice what the tour co. recommended, but she hated that guide and tipped him fifteen bucks. Everybody hated him.

Oh, and she also made a friend of a retired high school history teacher from Ky. who's been all over the world.

She said: "I think he's gay, but that's okay."

Go mom. She invited him to come visit her anytime he was in the neighborhood.

Did you see "Malcolm In The Middle" last night? We did. We'd just finished dinner when the opening "Bacon Day" sequence commenced.

We were howling. It was like an exact reenactment of Bacon Day at our house (every other Sunday morning), except with way more bacon.

Obviously the MITM writers are reading this diary. Hi! Love the show! Steal anything you want! (That only goes to the MITM writers. You Oz, Sex in the City, Sopranos, and Friends writers just BACK THE HELL OFF!)