Brassy tongue-pierced lawyer chick is a warm, moist breeding ground for the raging virulent infectious lesbianism virus that I seem to carry. Just call me Dykhoid Mary.

I mean, in our first conversation, with several other women participating mind you, before I even knew her name, she mentioned that she also has her nipples pierced. She's all cosmopolitan and she says her boyfriend lives in New Mexico.

Oh yeah. She'll be walkin' up to me telling me she met a woman over the weekend any time soon now.

Before that happens, though, I'm betting she fucks the guy friend she told me will be coming down from Philly to visit her this weekend. A guy she met f2f at a conference for maybe 12 hours with whom she's kept in touch via e-mail for two years. And he's coming down to "visit."

He wants some. You know he does.

He's not alone.

While I was talking to her, I started fantasizing about what it would be like to ask her out for a night at the local dungeon with me. I was thinking about whispering dirty things into her ear as she was tied up to a cross, between flogging sessions. Then I realized I'd have to bring a box to stand on if I wanted to do that. She's about a foot taller than me.

Still, I bet it would be fun, and I bet she'd like it. She'd look really good in a black slip. Or camisole and panties. My boot resting on her crotch.

*SLAP*

Okay. Back in the real world now. Apparently, I need a date soon.

Ever wonder what the male-to-female ratio is on Diaryland? Probably, like, 9-to-1. And then if you limited that to straight men, you'd have, I don't know, 120,000-to-Uncle Bob. Something like that.