We had a short discussion in the shower yesterday morning. Deb was all anxious because I'd said there were still things to talk about, so it was time to get it over with. No big deal, actually, but she worries when there's any kind of rift going on. I got her to confirm that she understood that sex time for me is sometimes as important as family time is for her. Then I told her that I needed her to be supportive of that sometimes instead of exasperated by it. She was slightly balky over the notion, so I asked her just to think about it, and I know she will. That girl can mull things over in her head and analyze them like nobody else I know. I also know that our relationship is the most important thing in the world to her, and to me, and we'll both do whatever it takes. I'm feeling really nummery with her, and looking forward to tonight.

I got a nice surprise in the shower this morning. Sara came over in her uniform to pick up the watch she left at our house last night. She came into the bathroom while I was all lathery to show me her new sunglasses. Hub-ba. When she showed me her serious scowl face with the shades on, I wanted to throw my hands up against the wall and spread 'em. 'Course, I don't know if Sara would know what to do with me in that position exactly.

My goal for today is to decide if I'm going to women's night at the local private dungeon on Friday. The space is really incredible; extraordinarily well planned and well equipped. I don't really know what "women's night" will be like, but I can guess. There will probably be about 12 women there, if that. Three or four of whom I'll have met before, but I don't know them well. Most of the women will already be hooked up in pairs, except the ones with way too much makeup for my tastes or the ones who are also tops. And there will probably be at least one MtoF transsexual.

Now, none of this is necessarily bad. Last month Deb and I met a lovely TS who I wouldn't mind playing with if I got up the nerve. I need to get out and meet new people. I still don't know if I'm ready to play in public or not, but if I go on Friday, I want to take a toy bag with me just in case. Mostly I'd sort of like an occasion to wear my chaps to. It'll also be odd not to have my immediate support system around me (Deb, Jake, and Sara), but the whole point of me going to these things is to flaunt my inner-stud on my own and maybe find a source of sex outside the family�'cause I want more than they have time to give. In case you couldn't tell, I'm leaning toward going.

One thing that's comforting is that I know this dungeon is a really safe, well regulated place. Nothing freaky is going to happen while I'm there. Okay, nothing that I would find freaky. You might have a different opinion. You could express that opinion in my guest book if you feel inclined. Just click on the humongous imperative banner on this page that says "Sign The Book."

And speaking of you, according to my page hit counter, somebody is reading this besides just me and Sara. Thanks to Uncle Bob for sending folks my way to start forming that legion of fans I keep talking about. Bookmark me. Tell your friends. You don't want to miss the next installments.

Stella has invited us to Mark and Scott's (two guys we've met once or maybe twice) New Year's Eve party. I'm pretty sure they live in our 'hood, so being able to walk to a party close-by would be way better than staying at home again this year. We'll see.

Also upcoming: Sara poses nude for me so I can try out my new photography skills and she can have some hot, artistic shots of herself to distribute as she pleases. I've got about six rolls of really good b&w film ready to go. If I get my druthers, we'll do the shoot this weekend and weave a sex date into it. Just to get her to relax in front of the camera. And to inspire me.

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Reading: I put down "Seduced" (in the middle of the climactic sex scene that the whole book had been building up to) because it suck-diddly-ucked. The seduction scenes did nothing for me because the author had no sense of build-up. Everything was overblown and exaggerated from the start. The author referred to freakin' take-out pizza as "the Italian delicacy." That put me right off my oats and from then on I was just looking for stuff to laugh at. To its credit, the book did include a blow-job scene, which I hardly ever see in romance novels, but it too was lame. I may look at the last 20 pages of the book tonight, but I won't feel I've missed anything if I don't.

I've picked up Ann Maxwell's "Timeshadow Rider" and started on it. This is one of those other-worldly fantasies where the naming, language, culture and physics are so foreign to me, I'm having a hard time figuring out what the hell is happening. Add timetravel elements and we're talking multi-readings of each frikkin' paragraph. This book came from one of Sara's reject bags. It may go back.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11