Okay, enough of the boring stuff. Tonight is dungeon night! Woo-hoo. It's also "take back the video Jake gave me for Christmas to exchange" night. Jake graciously prescreened it for me and I'll trust her when she says it sucks, and not in a good way. She was trying to get me a gay-boy porn tape with a cop theme (to satisfy my cop fetish) and only found this one tape, which featured alleged Czechoslovakian cops. I know how she feels. Disappointed.

I've searched for hours in different porn vid stores looking for videos with gay men in cop uniforms, but to no avail. Women with grotesquely inflated hooters, no problem. Nothin' but cum shots, no problem. Frat boys galore. Big black studs with huge dicks screwing narrow hipped women who you'd think they'd split in two (I've already got one of those).

What's the deal? Are the producers afraid that the man will get offended and come bust their little porn studio? I've only been able to find one cop sequence in straight porn, a Marilynn Chambers vignette (which was pretty good, but short ... and afflicted with bad 1980s hair).

If you're wondering why I don't seem to be into lesbian porn video, you've never seen one. Snoooooooze. Or OUCH. (What's with those inch-long fingernails?) The ones marketed to men have the same over-makeuped, tit inflated, pussy shaved, hair sprayed, women in spike heels (which make me think, "She's going to poke somebody's eye out, or at least rip a whole in that tres chic velour couch") who are in the M/F porn videos. And if you watch one of the made-by-lesbians-for-lesbians videos, you get San Francisco chicks with everything pierced and all-too-real body shapes, who despite their hip sex-positive status still have not evolved beyond the (apparently genetic) bad lesbian haircut. And of course, since they gotta be PC, they use so much safer sex apparatus they might as well be fucking through a tarp. There's NO heat.

But in gay male porn, there's HEAT. Okay, sometimes there's heat; sometimes the "actors" look pretty damn bored, but I can adjust for that in my head.

Click on to see the rest of the rant.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11