My sisters'n'em are all headed back home now. It was a great visit, but I'm glad for it to be just us again. We have something of a balance here, and four extra women just seems to overload it a bit, like a dryer gone wonky.

We started out the day by going down to Hank Aaron BMW to look at MINI Coopers. The sales people completely ignored us, even though we are climbing in and out of cars. I'm glad I took my business to the other Cooper dealership. Did I tell that story? I wanted to patronize Hank Aaron's dealership, but I called twice to ask about test drives, and they never called me back. I figured that reflected pretty badly on what sort of service I would get, so I went to the north side of town and bought there.

Sara took the femmes out to Value Village yesterday while Jake and I and my dyke sister stayed home. Deb was at work. When Sara brought them back at about 3:30, we went out to lunch at the Brake Pad. Everybody enjoyed that and then I drove them to Deb's wine store. Unfortunately, we met Deb in traffic going the other way. She turned around, met us at the store, told us she'd had an awful day and if we didn't mind, she was headed home. Of course we didn't mind.

A couple hours later we were off to dinner at 5 Seasons Brewing, which is becoming our standard "special" restaurant for visitors. My steak connoiseur sister said she'd had $35 steaks that weren't as good as the filet she had last night (which was under $20). I had the Granny Serrano grilled pizza (granny smith apples and seranno ham). The waiter brought a bottle of Tobasco, told me to try it with a little drop of that, "Trust me," and he was right. It was excellent. We also had the rice balls and cheese kari kari. Deb had Thumper Confit (rabbit) and said it was excellent.

One interesting thing about the weekend was that my sister's uber-picky girlfriend did not complain about any of the food we ate out. Usually there's something wrong about something and she'll send something back when the rest of us are like, "what the hell, I'll eat that."

But it's good to have the house quiet again. Sara gets extra points for volunteering to go out to Einsteins and bring back bagels for breakfast this morning. Oh, and if any of you are ever having four family members come visit you, I highly recommend having them stay at a hotel. That was great. I had to do some driving back and forth, but it was well worth it.

In other news, I was browsing through my Sitemeter stats, and found The Mercury Project, a site for gay and lesbian teens in Australia, which has me and Anat, and a few other D-landers on the links page. Not many. Just seven. I feel honored to be selected to join such distinguished company.

And then I found a teenage girl in Stone Mountain (GA) who'd linked me in reference to masturbation. I won't link her for the sake of her own privacy.

It made me want to put on my role model hat. My car has a one-of-a-kind bumper sticker that a friend made for me. It says, "We're not recruiters, we're just good role models." I've always tried to live up to that.

With that in mind, I starting thinking about things I know about sex now that I wish I'd known as a teenager.

�I wish I'd known what a wonderful thing masturbation is. Hell, I wish I'd known about masturbation. My friends didn't talk about it, and grown-ups certainly didn't, so I wasn't really aware of it until I started reading sex books in college. I wish I'd explored my own body and learned to love and appreciate it. What a killer lover and much more confident person I would've been if I had.

�I wish I had known better than to gratefully take and reward any type of sexual attention from a boy. I had such low self esteem that I thought I would never get many chances, so I took whatever I could get. My first kiss was from a greaser in a movie theater. He just sat down next to me and started making moves. I never even knew his name.

�I wish I'd realized how fun the necking part is in and of itself. Necking is amazing and as safe as masturbating, and if you combine the two, you can have a pretty damn satisfying sex life with no risk of crabs or herpes or AIDS or getting knocked up.

Tips on good necking.

� Pace yourself. Take your time. You've got two hours before her parents get home.
� When you French kiss, keep your mouth open only as wide as necessary to accommodate the level of tongue swapping that feels right at the moment. There should be no big air pockets between mouths. Don't make her feel like you're trying to unhinge your jaw and swallow her head.
� Sucking causes hickeys. Hickeys cause grounding. You can make it feel just as good without making marks. First, do a lot of regular kissing and possibly a little feeling up until you are both hot and bothered, then put your open mouth on her neck, or collar bone, or shoulder. DO NOT USE SUCTION. Just trace your tongue across her skin, lightly and then more heavily. Alternate pressures. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO SUCK IN. And if that technique doesn't do anything for her, give up and try something else.
� Did I mention pacing?
� Breasts may not only be more sensitive on some girls than on others, they may be more sensitive with the same girl at different times of the month. Never just grab and squeeze. Start gently every time and read the body reaction clues. Having a reputation for good, slow hands, is a very very very good thing. Believe me, it will get around. Work on one breast at a time, starting outside the clothes. Cup the sides first, lift a little to get the feel, stroke, caress, then search out the nipple with your thumb. This should take longer than five minutes. Once you've located the nipple (which can be hard to do through a shirt and a bra, don't get discouraged if it takes a while�that's half the fun), trace your thumb pad lightly over it, then around it, then under, tease it to erection, then just play with it gently for a while. If she's into it, you can try kneading it between your thumb and forefinger. Switch breasts and start from square one. Do you see how you can have a lot of fun for a good long time this way? Hell, you've just spent 45 minutes playing with her breasts and you haven't even gotten under her shirt yet. Two more minutes and she'll probably be pulling her shirt off for you.

Okay. I'm going to call it a night now. Maybe I'll do more make-out tips later.

I'm going to go check my e-mail and see if I've gotten anything from a certain savory side-dish.