The last couple days have been filled with reminders that polyamory is hard. I'm not going to go into any detail, and don't try to draw any conclusions about what the hell is going on at the Ranch. You'll be wrong.

Polyamory: It's hard to trust your lover to go out and have sex with someone else and to deal with being afraid that they've come back different, or with feeling abandoned, or not so special anymore, with feeling like your established relationship is threatened. Then tack on another 37 variables to worry about. Well, for me to worry about.

In the past couple days I've been sad, scared, confused, jealous, anxious, petty, astonished, ashamed, proud, blindsided, and blunt to the point of cruelty. I've cried, I've wanted a cigarette like you wouldn't believe, I've laughed, I've felt stupid, I've found out what a mild anxiety attack feels like. It feels like an evil Demon Butterly in your upper chest, in case you were wondering.

It has not been a banner couple days at the Ranch. If you look at it from a different angle, though, it's been a testimony to how strong we really are. When the shit hit the fan simultaneously from three different directions, nobody shirked their grown-up responsibilities to the family. Everybody owned their own mistakes, listened to each other, and said the hard things to say.

We're not perfect, but we're damn good.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11