Not a heckuva lot going on this morning.

The good news is that Miguelito has returned from the Future Ruler of the World Gladiatorial Competition and Tools of Destruction Expo and should be posting again soon. I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that he vanquished all the future-world-ruler-wannabees in every heat, including the Rice Cooking Challenge, the Hit Brian Boitano With a Stick elimination round, and the Prostate Exam Endurance overtime death match.

I would love to see a South Park-style animated short representation of these games. Mig would have brought back the official video tapes, but the venue is in an alternate universe that went with BETA.

CAVEAT: I'm sure that fashion victim clothes horses like Marn and Ruby Blue Bird are going to feel insulted in a minute when I begin mocking someone for their fashion choices. If anyone out there has this same, exact outfit and measurements, I don't mean to make fun of YOU. Just this specific person. C'mon. I can't resist something like this.

I was talking with Saucy Pierced Lawyer Chick after work down in the courtyard yesterday evening, when I saw this bizarre looking chick walking toward us. I said, "Saucy Pierced Lawyer Chick, Saucy Pierced Lawyer Chick, look behind you! It's like Barbie's mutant twin!"

I'm telling you, this chick's body defied the boundaries of human DNA. Don't believe me? Look for yourself.

I wish there was something in the photo that would allow you to grasp the scale. First, the camera adds 10 pounds, which would bring her up to about 75, I guess. The platform shoes are about six inches thick, and so, with ponytail, she's hitting about six-foot-eight or something. I know. One of my old coworkers was 6'8". I know what it looks like. And she walked like a freakin' wind-up robot. The kind that don't have knee joints and so they have a built-in recession in their hip joint where their leg retracts a little bit and they teeter around, guaranteed to fall over the first time they bump into something.

And I'm sorry I didn't get a back view. SPLC kept going on and on about how incredibly short this woman's butt was. Like, four inches from top of butt to crotch. Her legs are about as big around as my forearms.

Anyway, she walked past us, and we just gaped. I mourned the fact that I hadn't had my camera within easy reach. SPLC left, and then freaky chick came back! She walked past me once, giving me time to whip out my camera while her back was turned, and then came right back toward me, which is when I got this shot. Amazing. She was close enough to spit on. But I missed.

Tonight Sara and I will be watching Wednesday's Boot Camp and an episode or two of Buffy that Sara hasn't seen yet while Deb and Jake have a date at our house.

Heavy petting will probably be had. I need to start really, seriously, practicing leaving Sara unmarked, though. She's going to have to do the bridesmaid thing soon, and big bite marks will just not do.

Congratulations to the Ozzies, like Lesbian-Love, who will soon be able to share in the heartwarming magic that is Boot Camp.