On June 10, 2003, the high court of Ontario, Canada's most populous province, ruled that the exclusion of same-sex couples from civil marriage infringes human dignity, harms families, and violates the constitution. The court ordered an immediate end to this discrimination. Within hours, same-sex couples began marrying.

Last summer, at that same time, Deb and I were trying to decide where to go with the Delta buddy passes given to us by Ricky and Lucy. Then came the Ontario decision, and the first opportunity for us to become legally married anywhere; it didn't take us long to decide that we wanted to go to Toronto and get hitched. But we decided that we would delay our trip until April, 2004, so that we could have time to save for the trip and make arrangements for the wedding.

Little did we know what kind of panicked legislative reactionary hubbub was on the horizon in the United States. It's been a tough year, watching as our elected representatives on both federal and state levels, including the president of the United States, decided that it is not enough to have recognition of same-sex marriages banned by law, as it currently is (state and federal), but to write the ban into the Georgia and United States Constitutions.

I've felt pretty emotionally battered by the comments I've heard from politicians in the last couple months.

It's not easy getting married in Canada. We've had to make a lot of arrangements, hire lawyers, get certified courthouse documents, fill out paperwork, track down lost paperwork.

No, it wasn't required that we have our wills, living wills and powers of attorney drawn up, but it's the only way we can get a few of the most basic spousal rights. These documents could still be challenged, but at least we're on more sure footing than we would be without them.

Almost everything has been arranged at this point. My coworkers are having a shower for me and Deb here at work on Wednesday. That means a lot to both of us, though Deb keeps griping about whatever wedding shower type game they might make us play. We'll be there with a smile in our hearts, though, because it's pretty damn special to have a bunch of straight people (mostly) be so supportive. I'm sure I'll cry in front of everyone.

Once we get to Toronto, we have to call the Office of the Registrar to have them fax our approval to apply for a license (which we had to apply for because of Deb's previous divorce) to the civic center where we submit and pay for our application. Then we have a couple days to sight-see and vacation.

Our photographer and friend Molly flies in on Sunday. We get married on Monday. I'm so excited.

The celebration party is going to be on May 8. Angela Motter has agreed to sing. I'm planning a local Southern menu. I'll get sides from Q's Restaurant (mac and cheese, yellow squash, black-eyed peas, turnip greens, corn bread, blackberry cobbler), barbecue ribs and pulled pork from Patio Daddy-o, Stella's beer can chicken (she insisted), a few bags of buckeyes from Jester's, and one red velvet and one chocolate bomb cake from The Sweetest Things. I will leave the liquor and wine selection up to Deb.

Pretty cool, eh? (See, I'm practicing my Canadian already.)

And for those of you who asked, I spent some time setting up a registry for me and Deb this afternoon. We are not asking for gifts from anyone, but there are those who insist.

So, if you just can't stand it, visit our registry and give to your heart's content.

And for your enlightenment (for anyone else who plans on going to Canada to get married) and entertainment:

_|_ Lawyer to draw up simple wills, living wills, powers of attorney for both of us = $600 U.S.
_|_ Lawyer to write opinion that Deb's U.S. divorce should be recognized in Ontario = $225 U.S.
_|_ Passport for me (Deb already had one) = $85
_|_ Delta Buddy Passes, two round-trip to Toronto = $800 U.S. (gift from friends)
_|_ Five-night stay in Toronto = $525 Canadian
_|_ Food, drink, cabs and mass transit for both of us while in Toronto = $300?
_|_ Marriage license application = $110 Canadian
_|_ Marriage ceremony payment = $75 Canadian
_|_ Deb's wedding outfit (not including shoes) = $179
_|_ My wedding outfit (pulled from existing wardrobe)
_|_ Donation to Human Rights Campaign to fight Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage = $50 U.S.
_|_ Donation to Georgia Equality Project to fight state Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage = $50 U.S.
_|_ Wedding party for friends and family = $1,200 U.S.
_|_ Photograper Molly Bennett flown in for ceremony, hotel stay, ground transport, generously low fee for actual photography = $1,000 U.S. (gift from sisters and friend)
_|_ Privilege of getting married in the eyes of the law, at least somewhere, equal in every way to a heterosexual marriage = priceless

If we ever want to get divorced, we will have to move to Canada and live there for a year before we are allowed to file.

Sorry about the lack of a comments feature anymore. I was pinching some pennies and only signed up for Gold instead of Supergold. The guestbook still works, though it doesn't notify me anymore. I'll check it from time to time.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11