If you want to make sure that I have a hard time listening to what you're saying, tack a bunch of shiny objects to your face. Let them hang out of your nose, lips and tongue. I may be smiling and nodding, but I promise you that I'm completely distracted and only hearing about half of what you say.

The lesbians on the porn video were a little too real. I'm not very looksist in real life, when I know the person, but if I'm watching total strangers on a porn video, I need to think they're hot on looks alone. Thus, gay boy porn remains the only porn to hold my interest.

Deb bought me some new jeans on Wednesday. Thirty inches seems longer than it used to be. I'm talking about the inseam. A 28-inch inseam is best for me, but they're hard to find in 38- and 40-inch waists, so I'm used to the 30-inch inseam. But these jeans legs are just pooling around my feet. Do they make 505s different than they used to?