Quitting smoking has wrought a lot of changes with me. I'm feeling like my diary stinks (stinks is a harsh word�maybe lacks luster) lately because I don't have the same kind of time to think about what I'm going to write, or I let myself write while I'm too distracted by other stuff. Used to be, I would sit on the porch or down in the courtyard, and smoke, and think about what I wanted to say that day and the best way to say it. Now I'm usually on the couch with the television on or at my desk, in a hurry because it seems like I have to work a lot harder these days just to keep up. I've started trying to get downstairs and walk around the block at least once a day instead of courtyard smoke breaks, but I can't really muse while I'm walking and trying to avoid homeless people and insane city drivers zooming into underground parking lots like rodents into holes.

I feel like my brain's not really clicking like it used to.

I've also gained 10-15 pounds. And that's a slippery slope, people. And this is the hard part of this entry. I want to take that poundage back off. And maybe a little more. And it's not going to come off by itself.

Lesbians aren't supposed to want to lose weight. We're supposed to love our bellies exactly as they are and never judge them or try to deprive them, because that's the patriarchy at work, sister, and you can't bow down to the man.

But the lowdown is that I'm getting to the point where I feel worse now with these 15 extra pounds than I did when I was smoking. I don't feel comfortable. So I've been listening to a friend who's planning on doing the Suzanne Somers eating plan, and I've reviewed one of my favorite smart-eating books, "Outsmarting the Female Fat Cell," and I've got a game plan.

Eating more fruit and vegetables
Eating less artificial sweetener
Eating less sugar
Eating less white flour-based stuff
Cutting down on fried foods
Cutting down on caffeine
Drinking more water
Walking faster and longer than I usually do at least three times a week
Eating more reasonable sized portions at meals
Avoiding really high fat contents
Not depriving myself of anything I'm really dying for

That's all, should be no problem. Actually, this combines the most sensible aspects of all the food plans I know anything about. The worst thing you can do if you want to lose weight is to cut your food intake way down. Well, for girls anyway. Boys can sneeze and lose weight. With girls the least little thing you do you fat cells go into prep-mode for famine and get more efficient at storing fat. Fat bastards.

Anyway, I did one other thing to incorporate this game plan and get a little commitment going. I joined the Weight-Watchers online program. For some reason I have an inherent shame related to this. See bowing to patriarchy reference above for possible causal relationship. I haven't even told Deb yet. I don't want her to cook differently for me. Her meals are nutritious, and good for you, and just fine for what I'm doing as long as I don't eat plate-loads as big as my head, which I've been known to do.

Now WW is doing this "point plan" thing now, which is not strictly in accordance with my overall plan of attack. You're supposed to keep track of everything you eat, and all consumables have a point value assigned, and you try to stay within a prescribed point-range with the total of stuff you eat each day.

That's too "diet mindset" for what I'm looking to do. I've cut down hugely on the amount of sweets, fat, and artificial sweeteners that I take in, but I am SO not hitting my point range. But the good thing that WW does is have a program that makes it easy to track what you're eating and serve as a support group for encouragement. So I'm on the community message board, browsing around, and what comes up but a zillion threads on oral sex, and one on anal sex, one on what you do for sex when Aunt Flow is visiting. I'm all, "Damn." And THEN, one of the women on the boards makes references to Carol Queen, "Bend Over Boyfriend," and Tristan Taormino. Then I'm all, "Hot damn!" Some of these women may actually be cool. And perverted.

In other news, I got the new Nikon today. I've been testing it out a bit already, and I'm impressed so far. Below are photos of the former Winecoff Hotel, a 100% size segment of the same photo, and a close-up of the coke machine in the employee break room.

Bras! Bras! and more Bras! I've order $140 worth of bras (4) from Decent Exposures in hopes that one of the sizes I ordered will fit and be comfortable. Thanks to Jewels for the recommendation. If I actually get a comfortable bra out of this, she will be generously rewarded, if not, severly punished. But, in my world, those are pretty much the same things.