The Sunday morning smoke has always been my time to completely let go of the stress of the previous week, and to pleasantly hold the stress of the upcoming week at bay. Sunday morning was the time to acknowledge that even though one half of the weekend was gone, one whole day was left to enjoy. And somehow, smoke travelling in and out of my lungs really helped transmit that message to my brain.

My brain was saying that without that smoke, I would never again have that middle-of-the-weekend, everything's fine and I am at peace with the world feeling--never, ever, EVER again. Tears welled up in my eyes. Deb tried to comfort me. I pushed her away. After all, it's the three of Them who are doing this to me. If I was by myself, I'd be happy to die a miserable death at 67. Who needs to live longer than that anyway? But no. They want me around for a LOT longer. Deb wants me to outlast her, the selfish harpy.

So the damn bitches, who must hate me because they're ruining my life by trying to make me quit smoking, are all trying to be sweet because they can see that I'm losing it. And then they clear out because I don't like anybody to see me when I'm losing it.

Deb and I were supposed to go sofa shopping together on Sunday, and I needed to get cat food, and I had to do vacuuming. And then we were going to try to work a date in there somewhere. I asked Deb how she would feel about doing the sofa shopping by herself. She was okay with that. I told her to buy whatever she liked. I didn't care. And pick up some cat food.

After she left, I got a hammer, two flat-head screwdrivers, a pry bar, a pair of pliers, and a utility knife, and I started ripping up the carpet in the front hallway. It's a chore we've been meaning to do since we moved in, and the dog and cats had started to use it as their vengeful peeing spot ...

Cat: I'll show them how I feel about this new fucking dog! [pssssssss]
Dog: Hey, this smells like an okay place to pee. [psssssssss]
Cat: That goddam dog pissed on my piss! Shit! I'll show her! [pssssssss]
Dog: I kinda gotta go. [psssssssss]
Cat: This is the last straw! I'm going to piss here, and then I'm going to piss on every area rug I can find, and then I'm going to piss on the dog bed, too! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! [psssssssss]
Dog: I guess I can piss and crap in the study, too. It's the same kind of carpet.

Needless to say, there are a million piss stains on the hardwoods. Strangely, that didn't upset me too badly. It made me sad, but it felt good to be tearing up the pissy carpet.

And then Jake came over and vacuumed our house for me. Topless.

Do I have the most wonderful family in the world, or what? Deb came home a short while after Jake was done. She'd bought a couch, and we're going to go pick it up on Wednesday. She also bought the extended warranty, and normally I would have apoplexy over this, but according to the paperwork, they will come clean or repair pretty much anything that happens to your couch over the next five years. That's come to your house, not make you drag it to them. Pet stains, wine stains, rips (they'll only do one repair for cat scratches -- repeated ripping gets put in the "behavior problem" category), bodily fluids, whatever. If they actually honor this promise, it'll be a good deal.

Then we paired off for dates. (Date report at end of entry.)

A few hours later, Deb made a fabulous pork roast. Then we stayed up to watch our first (mine and Deb's) episode of "Queer As Folk." Pretty fucking hot. But that teenager character, Justin, was being a big prick.

Oh, man, what a date. I went upstairs to snooze for 15 minutes before Sara came over, and had actually started to drift off a couple times when I heard her talking with Deb downstairs. She came in, crawled into bed beside me, and started by saying something fairly generic. We'd talked about doing Julian and Eleanor, but we hadn't finalized anything, so I wasn't quite sure who I was supposed to be. Turns out we were both in the same boat for a little while, not knowing which characters the other was in the mood for. But I started to kiss her throat and she reacted very well, so I went into full-Julain mode. And boy was he in the mood to torment Eleanor.

He didn't even pretend to have a reason for it, and she didn't care. Sara was all about the pain yesterday afternoon. I blindfolded her first, then bound her hands together and tied them to the top of the futon frame. Then I tied her knees together (a good indication that I plan to tease and torture for a good long time before I get to the fucking), and then her ankles. Oh, and we'd taken off all of her clothes except for the panties, which she let me know were cuttable.

I took my sweet time with her, putting all my weight on her, carving welts across her breasts, going at her nipples with my teeth until she'd suck in her breath from the sensation--and she was still wanting more. I told her I wanted to taste the want when I bit her. So I kept teasing and kept teasing. I started cutting rips in the panties. I opened a small hole in front and dipped in one finger to test her wetness. Soaked. I turned her over and put her on her knees and sliced open the panties from behind. I prodded and teased her until she was begging to be filled up. Ungh.

Julian sank his teeth in and fed just enough for a good taste of how bad she wanted it. Then he lifted her legs from the binding around her ankles, let them drape up across his chest with her feet up by his head, planted his cock inside her and cut loose every ounce of pent up agression that had been building inside.

Or maybe that was more me than Julian. We went probably an hour solid with no breaks. Just fucking, feeding, and more fucking, nipple chewing, hard kisses, and more fucking. She was ready to take everything I could dish out. I finally had to stop. I was panting from the exertion. I took her blindfold off and started to undo her cuffs.

"No, no."

She wanted me to leave them on. I took them off anyway, then slid off the ropes around her knees, flopped down on my back and ordered her to go get me some water. She looked at the ropes around her ankles. "Untie those yourself."

She frantically tried to get loose. It took her forever, and I just watched. She almost got panicky. I told her to hurry up.

After the water break, I told her to roll a condom on and ride me. Oh, man, I love it when she's on top and I can watch. Then we moved to a sitting position with her straddling me so that I could go at her throat again. And this time she bit me back. I've got a bit of a love bite still today.

I bound her wrists again with the same single wide nylon strap that I'd been using before. Its got a D-ring on it and velcro to hold it. I think that's when I ditched the cyberskin dick (love that new dick and the spandex shorts harness) and went to Denzel. Need I say more? Yeah, I know you want me to, but it's nine o'clock, and I haven't taken the time to eat dinner yet.

We were exhausted by the time we were finished, but a really good exhausted.

Casualty list: my undershirt (soaked), Sara's panties (shredded), four condoms, one latex glove, two bed pads, four (or maybe three) towels, sheets.

Later on, after dinner, Jake and Deb were very indulgent of my desire to be hanging all over Sara on the couch. They even went next door (for QasF) a little early, leaving us some time for extra smooches. Sara told me that she was fantasizing about me throwing her up against the back of the couch and taking her again. I told her to come over tonight (Deb's working), and I'd do it.

It worked out so that I went over to their house right after work, and we did a short Sara and Joe scene (in this scenario Sara is a cop too). Their schedules have been barely overlapping; they pass each other at work as Joe's signing out and Sara is getting ready for roll call. All they can do is make eye contact, and it's driving them crazy. So today Joe gets his partner, Antoine, to clock out for him, and he takes off 15 minutes early to go get his ashes hauled before she leaves for work. Which is what I did.

Pinned her right up against the kitchen counter while she tried to be reasonable, reminding him that she had to leave in just a few minutes. Telling him he's crazy. All the while he's shucking her pants and panties down around her ankles, spreading her legs, telling her to plant her hands on the counter. She's calling him a sonofabitch, but she's so ready for it. Nailed her three times. Was going to stop after one, but she whimpered with disappointment when I pulled out. Still only took about 10 minutes.

Sara said she'd been planning a treat for the weekend when they could finally get together, but after what he'd done he could just kiss that goodbye now. Joe said, "You think you can hold out? I don't think so. Thanks for the lay," and walked out.

Sometimes it's really fun to play that kind of crude, insensitive, cocky, arrogance. Sara totally gets off on it, too. Ungh. Whoo-boy, that was fun.