[The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: 10.8.2001]

Limbaugh hearing loss is a mystery

By RODNEY HO

Atlanta Journal-Constitution Staff Writer

Rush Limbaugh, the nation's most popular talk radio host, shocked his 20 million listeners Monday by announcing that he has lost almost all his hearing. "Over the course of the summer, I have become deaf, and nobody can tell me why," he said.

Limbaugh, 50, whose conservative talk show airs on WGST-AM (640) from noon to 3 p.m. weekdays and more than 600 other radio stations nationwide, recently signed an eight-year contract with his syndicator, Premiere Radio Networks, for more than $100 million.

Some listeners had noticed in recent weeks that Limbaugh's voice had changed, though nobody could pinpoint why. He said he can't hear listeners anymore but plans to continue his show.

"I can do this radio program every day without taking a phone call and in my mind still outrate 99 percent of the people who do it," Limbaugh declared. "Or if I want to take phone calls, we'll find a way to do that."

He said he's unsure exactly why he has lost his hearing, noting that no doctor or treatment has been able to stem the deterioration. Doctors recommend a cochlear implant as a possible last resort, Limbaugh said.

Doug Mattox, chairman of Emory University's ear, nose and throat department, said such severe hearing loss does happen sometimes in one ear, but that it's "rare for both ears to go out all at once."

I can imagine how the new shows will go.

Rush: "And welcome to my show. Women are evil and that's the only reason I'm still a virgin. What do you patriots out there have to say to that? First caller: Jim in Duluth, go ahead."
Jim in Duluth: "Ditto, brother. You hit the nailing right on the head. The only good woman is a barefoot, pregnant, mute woman who votes Republican like her husband does."
Rush: What?
Jim in Duluth: "I said, you're right! Women should just shut up and do like their man says!"
Rush: "You'll have to speak up, Jim in Duluth. You may have heard that my hearing disappeared over the summer, possibly because of excessive fat deposits in my cranial cavity. We're still taking callers for now, but you'll have to work with me Jim and speak up, or we'll stop taking callers and I'll just have to rant about newspaper articles for three hours every day."
Jim in Duluth: "I SAID, YOU ARE RIGHT!!! WOMEN ARE DEVIL SPAWN!! I'M GOING TO GO KILL MY GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I THINK SHE VOTED FOR GORE WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO. I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY, MR. LIMBAUGH, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T EVER LIE OR MAKE STUFF UP. MY QUESTION IS, SHOULD I USE MY NEW GUN AND RISK CONTRIBUTING TO THE BAD REPUTATION OF GUN OWNERS AS BEING MORE SUCCESSFUL AT COMMITTING HOMOCIDE, OR SHOULD I JUST STRANGLE HER? MY THROAT IS GETTING SORE NOW, SO I'LL HANG UP AND LISTEN."
Rush: "What? Jim, do you have a question? Jim? Callers, please have your comments ready when you call. Our next topic: Sharon Stone has anthrax, which means she's been hanging out with those towel headed terrorists. A new Jane Fonda for the new millennium? Looks like it, folks. We'll be back after these messages from our proud sponsor, Cracker Barrel, the family country store that fired all the homosexuals who were accidently hired, and won't ever hire any more. Cracker Barrel, breakfast 'til eight and your waiter's straight."