The first lunch I had was pretend meat pressed into the shape of short ribs. They could never get away with serving this at a cafeteria in the South. When I asked for it, these things were sort of stacked on their sides, so I thought they were short ribs. They were anything but.

Where did I get this culinary travesty? The big gay Expoteria with the big gay rainbow decorations all over the place. But if you ask me, nobody gay was involved with this place at all. It was full of mostly big gay teamsters who'd been setting up the show.

Every day I had to walk the gauntlet of scary German murals. Jake, just close your eyes and hit Page Down.

Doesn't this look like the actress who was in Hart To Hart? She's wearing a very early eighties long skirt with what looks like suede boots.

And this kid with the weird eyes was just plain eerie.

These murals were just full of people staring out of painted windows and doorways, looking at you. If Stephen King ever had to pass through this hallway, his next book would feature murals full of scary people luring weary conventioneers to their gruesome deaths. "Hey, you. Yeah, you. Come closer. Closer. Look into my freaky eyes. *CHOMP*"

Shudder.

More on my Chicago misadventures and frightening "art" of the Midwest later. I'm going to chill out and wait for my sweetie to get home.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11