So, in the tradition of Disgruntled Housewife (see link, lower left), I'm sharing my impulse purchases.

More than $200 worth of bed linens (three complete sheet sets plus extra pillowcases for each, bed ruffle and cotton blanket) ...

... and "food" to sooth the soul. Plus some cowboy themed boxers for Jake because one of her dogs chewed up her favorite ones, and some undershirts for me. The Mentos don't count as comfort food because I eat those like, well ... like candy ... every day. I was just stocking up on those.

I'm borrowing the dogs this afternoon, and as soon as I'm done here, I'm headed for the couch, and an encore viewing of "The Abominable Dr. Phibes."

Turns out, "Dr. Phibes" was the perfect movie to watch last night. Or it would have been if I hadn't passed out about 3/4 of the way through it. I'm such a cheap drunk nowadays. I had three, maybe four rum and Diet Cokes last night over a period of about 3.5 hours. And when I mix myself a drink, I put in less alcohol than you would get in a mixed drink at a bar, and then I pour in enough DC to fill up the rest of the pint glass, so the drink lasts longer than a short bar drink.

But back to "Dr. Phibes." It is the perfect '60s horror movie (1971�close enough). It's got Vincent Price (his 100th film, according to the box) as an eccentric, disfigured organist who's digruntled about the death of his beloved wife during surgery. The murders follow a theme (the 9 plagues set upon the Pharoahs). The chief investigator is a dogged British detective inspector, hounded by Scotland Yard brass to solve the case. The "special effects" are a scream�you can totally see one of the bats is hanging on a wire without any slowing down of the tape. The life-sized plastic see-through woman poster is hysterical (you have to rent it if you want to know what that's about). There are intentionally (I'm sure) campy, funny parts. And the murderer's sexy, mute sidekick is named VULNAVIA. Do you think that name is meant to suggest anything? Hmmmm. Let's think about that for a while.

My favorite of the Ab Dr's eccentricities is the window shades in his car that have his profiles and the back of his head sketched on them. So you look into the back seat of the car to see who's within ... but wait! ... It's just a sketch of Vincent Price with really bad early '70s hair. What's going on here? You! Check the other side! What? It's just his other profile? Try the back window. A bleeding sketch of the back of his head? With that haircut? No one would do something so vile! This is odd. Decidedly odd.

Ooooh. Creepy.

The majority of the victims are the biggest, wussiest morons ever.

We won't discuss how the guy who gets attacked by bats just lays there when a bat is crawling up his chest. Wouldn't it occur to you to smack it across the room? You know? Take a few out before they (only about 12 of them) gang up on you?

And we won't mention the guy who's attacked by rats while flying a plane. The guy in the propeller plane. With the windows that open. Who could've grabbed each and every one of the hairy fucks and tossed them out the window and gotten away with just a few nasty bites. The guy who dies in the fiery plane crash.

My favorite is the guy who watches a film of a belly dancer dancing with a snake like it's porn. He's really getting off on it. They don't show the trouser tent. The trouser tent is implied in his facial expression. Vulnavia ties him to a chair, and then they drain all his blood. They use a basic syringe/pump system, but they could've just poked a keg tap into his dick and gotten 95 percent of his blood right out of there.

Okay, I was going to write some more stuff, but I need to go watch that movie again now.

Fun with the Georgia Extension Service: On the Home Fix-It Show on the radio this morning, the pest control guy suggested controlling carpenter bees with a badminton racquet. That's right: sit on your deck holding a badminton racquet in one hand (and probably a beer in the other), wait for the carpenter bee to hover nearby, and practice your backstroke on him. I did not make that up.

I misspelled the snack cake names because I don't want to get sued.