Whoever you are (152.163.197 on aol) who Googlehit me searching on "dog+lovemaking," I really, really HOPE you are just looking for advice on whether or not it's okay to leave the dog in the room when there's lovemaking going on. Answer: It depends on the dog. (I was 29 on that search list, by the way.)

I also got search hits for:

college+kids+ejaculating�you could see this live and in person on request in any college town

what+do+mourning+doves+like+to+eat�sunflower seed spread on the ground or a platform; and this is what it sounds like when they cry ...

razor+strop�oh yeah, baby, come back soon (how come I'm 144 on that search and 29 on the dog thing?)

and frottage+clothes�you know, the definition of frottage includes having clothes on, so kind of a redundant search

Sara just got home. Burglary at 3 a.m. And she instructed me not to come molest her this morning. I'm not sure if that's the tiredness factor of the urinary tract infection she got from all the sex. I really hope she doesn't get mad at me for talking about this, but hey, if I get one, you know I'll be talking about it. I don't know much about what causes a UTI, but I know women bitch that having sex with men generally does. S. said she'd gotten lax about prevention methods because she didn't think sex with a girl could cause her to get one. Ooops. I'm so sorry. Well, she says it's not my fault.

And speaking of morning molestations ...

Get this ...

GET THIS ...

Last night Deb asked me to LEAVE THE BACK DOOR OPEN WHEN I LEAVE so Jake can COME VISIT IN THE MORNING BEFORE WORK IF SHE FEELS LIKE IT!!!

What

the

fuck?

Where is the pod and what have you done with my wife?

"I left her in the swamp in Florida." Oh, my everlovin' Jesus H. Christ.

My wife is getting into sex in the mornings (though still not being woken up with a sexual touch). Wow. I hope she spreads that around a bit and doesn't just save it for Jake. I said as much to her, and she said, "It depends on if you want to be on time for work."

Heh. Love my wife. Love my life.

One more thing. I'm about to finish Suzanne Brockmann's "The Defiant Hero." Really, really good. Go to the diaryland Amazon link in the members area and buy it.

I'll deliver the rest of the Monday night stalking session tonight.