Actually, I have to credit my bud Mig with "lesbian pancakes." If it had come from me, it would've been "lesbian waffles," since that's what we have 45 out of 52 weekends of the year. I guess Sara's pumpkin pancakes that one day really made an impression.

And speaking of which, I forgot to mention the fabulous dinner Sara made Tuesday night: stuffed (feta and some other stuff) chicken breasts over fresh spinach, followed by this rockin' chocolate cake from a Cooking Light recipe, topped with Deb's home made vanilla ice cream. The cake had pudding on the bottom. Deb, Jake and I polished that off last night after dinner.

Last night was salmon patties with a dill sauce (really great) and a sort of cajun/red pepper flake potato, green beans and onions side dish.

Speacial Treat Guest Diarist

Here, uncensored, for your pleasure and enlightenment, is Deb's version of how the four of us got together:

My wife recently wrote her account here of the beginnings of our four-partner relationship with Sara and Jake. She invited (or challenged?) us to write our own version since we may all have different perspectives on or memories of the events. A couple of years ago we all began talking among ourselves about how this started because we realize we are a unique family and are a little baffled ourselves as to how we got so lucky. I suspect that, after all this time (we are in our third year together), we have discussed our beginnings enough that our memories will now be very similar. But perhaps there are some things I can add.

I remember Jake telling me that Sara was interested in Badsnake at some point. I remember suggesting that we invite Jake and Sara along on our annual south Florida vacation because at that point Badsnake didn't know Sara very well and it was an opportunity for them to get to know each other better. Our week together in Florida went well, and all the way back home (a twelve hour drive) Badsnake and I discussed our individual senses of the future possibilities. After that trip, it didn't take Bad long to set up their first date. After Bad and Sara had a date, Jake and I had one. One of my favorite date memories of the early days is the evening that Bad and Sara met at their apartment while Jake and I got together at our house. After our dates we all four had dinner together at Jake and Sara's apartment. Sara cooked. It was a deliciously intimate feeling between the four of us. It wasn't the only time we've done that, but it was the first time.

I told Jake recently that I remember being so nervous before our first few dates (mine and Jake's) that I could barely eat. I have known Jake for a while. We worked together at a gay bookstore for two and a half years before any of this ever started. And I have always been attracted to her. But in the beginning she, like me, was a submissive. ( I should add that now she is a deliciously mean top.) I wanted badly to be able to offer her sexual satisfaction, but I was afraid I never would because I couldn't play on top. At the beginning of this relationship I always assumed it would revolve around Bad because she was the one of us who enjoyed being the dominant. When Jake expressed a sexual interest in me, I was excited and scared, afraid that I would not be able to be what she wanted.

I realize that I have completely skipped over what most of you want to know. How did I respond to Bad's first date with Sara? That is fairly anti-climatic. I encouraged it. I celebrated it with them both. For some reason, from the beginning, I was pushing Bad in Sara's direction, eager for Bad to have the experience of being desired by someone other than her primary partner. I have always said that I pushed Bad at Sara with the ulterior motive of getting my hands on Jake. But in reality, I'm not sure I ever really expected to get much of Jake. I was simply thrilled for my until-then-monogamous wife to have this adventure.

Jake and I have found that our sexual styles fit together better than I anticipated. I came home from our first date (actually I guess I welcomed Bad home since my first date with Jake was in our house) giddy. At that time Bad and I were still discussing our respective dates with each other and often getting turned on again by the discussion. But I think my praises of Jake's prowess tested Bad's willingness to continue the experiment. Since she was not willing to give up what she had found with Sara, she turned her jealousy into a fabulous fantasy to share with the whole family.

I don't, as a general rule, read this diary because it triggers my insecurities. No matter how much Bad and Jake tell me otherwise, when I hear about Sara's sexual creativity and stamina I feel inadequate to compete. Of course, it isn't a competition. So I have learned to deal with my own insecurities by asking not to hear about Bad and Sara's sexual adventures. I'm still glad of Bad and Sara's relationship, though, and I love Sara as part of my family. Part of the strength of our relationship has been that we have been willing, even eager, to hear each other's needs and look out for each other. One thing we haven't really explored in detail is how this wonderful four-way relationship evolved from a sexual adventure to a family. That is the fascinating part to me.

�Deb