I know some people out there have a foot of snow by now, and we don't have zip in the form of precipitation, but that breeze out there is nut-shattering cold. Brr. Today might be the day to go crank up the old gas heater in the cottage. Or quit smoking. You see, last Thanksgiving I decided not to smoke inside our house anymore. We just use the cottage as a great big shed, so I can still smoke out there. The heater is one of those grate kinds where you turn on the gas and stick a lit match into it and hope you don't singe your knuckle hair off.

So, speaking of singing hair off, I know you all want to hear about the dungeon adventures from last night. First, my New Year's resolutions for future dungeon trips.

1. If the event starts at 8 p.m., I will not show up at 8:30 p.m. I sat there and cooled my heels for about two hours, during which time I talked to the person watching the front desk and about four people showed up, some of whom left to go to a bar. At almost 11 p.m., a huge crowd straggled in: I think that brought us up to 14 people all together. Boo-yah.

2. Take my own bitch to play with. I told Deb she had to come with me next time. Each and every one of those dozen or so people were unsuitable for me to play with in one way or another. Either they were also tops, or they didn't have permission from their master, or they were with someone and already had plans.

3. Get tighter faded jeans to wear with my chaps. I've lost some weight in the last couple of years, and my tightest pair of faded jeans are pretty baggy in the butt and thighs. In fact, when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was my dad's butt. Flat, with the pockets hanging down, not curving over anything. My genetic heratige: flat butt, short legs. Thanks, Dad.

So I spent most of the evening standing around, smoking, drinking diet coke (No alcohol served at the dungeon�a very good thing if only for the fact that I don't have to have a hangover today. Okay, my tongue feels like somebody stomped on it�and not in a good way�from all the smoking, but it's no hangover), and chatting with folks about a variety of stuff, half of which had nothing to do with BDSM. At one point, we pulled up the Weather Channel URL on the reception desk computer, fer chrissakes. Truth be told, this is about all I expected to be participating in. Part of the reason I'm going out is to meet new people and ease back into the scene a bit. It's unlikely that anybody would play with me because most of them don't know me from Adam and therefore don't know what kind of top I am, or, in fact, whether or not I'm a total crazed potential stalker nutjob. Which is fair. I really enjoyed talking to the folks there.

As far as play goes, I can only speak very generically to protect others' privacy. Eventually a waxing happened: two women tied down and ladles and ladles of wax poured over them. Then ice. What luxury to have that much wax to play with. I also heard some flogging noises but didn't witness whatever that scene was.

And that was it. Ta-da. My big exciting dungeon night.

Other highlights: I got to participate in knife show-and-tell. That was pretty cool, and I saw a Smith & Wesson knife that would be a good thing to ask for for my birthday.

The Christmas decorations alone were worth the price of admission. They were everywhere. And the biggest Xmas tree had about a dozen BDSM action figure tableau hung on it. So we're talking G.I. Joes and Barbies in stocks or strapped to a table or wrapped in saran wrap. No action figure was safe from the Master Decorator's evil whim. What was incredible was the custom-made-to-scale dungeon apparatus they were posed on. Just perfect.

And finally, I got to see the woman I was so attracted to when I met her the first time I went to this dungeon. Brainy AND cute. Ungh. I could hardly tear my eyes away from her. Unfortunate for me, she's incredibly devoted to her dom, and I ended up being fairly self-conscious about how much staring I could get away with.

Oh, and I blew off taking the video in to exchange last night. I'll have to do it this afternoon. That'll be another adventure to tell.

Tune in next time you sleezehounds...

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11