Here's my dilemma for the day. I need to call my Mom. My mom is probably coming to visit in late-mid January. My mom is allergic to cats, so she has to sleep in the attic.

I have a big St. Andrews Cross in my attic that wasn't there the last time she visited. Also, the attic reeks of leather. As you walk up the stairs, the first thing you'll notice is the ugly carpet lining the stairs, and then a permeating odor of leather.

It's not that I own so much leather that it stinks the place up; it's that Deb gave me a leather-scented candle for Christmas, and I moved it up to the attic and actually lit it last Sunday.

It smells great. Really leathery. Dungeon ambiance with a wick. But it smells pretty cowhide-powerful wherever it is, whether it's lit or not. Thus the dilemma. I can move the candle and air out the attic, but it will just leatherify whatever room I move it to (the bathroom would be an interesting new locale). So I think I'd better ask Sara and Jake if they'll keep it in their attic, which is only used for storage, for awhile.

The cross is another matter. It folds up, but I don't know if it will be compact enough to hide under the bed. I may have to haul it out to the cottage. What a pain.

I'll also have to sneak cigarettes for the duration of Mom's visit. Be sure to tune in for those nicotine-starved entries, folks.

*****

Damn. I just saw a hawk in a tree right from the study window, but it was gone by the time I found my binoculars and ran out in the front yard in my bathrobe (complete with bed-head). Good morning, neighbors.

*****

Deb woke up after a horrible dream this morning. She dreamed she was sexually humiliated and tortured (POW style) in front of a group of people at a neighborhood meeting, and when she went to Jake for comfort, Jake didn't seem to care and was acting goofy and playful. Good thing they say dreams aren't really about the people in the dream. Deb had to go do inventory this morning and was a little stressed out about her boss showing up. She says he's been quite the prick lately. Bad attitudinally hung, you might say. He's not supposed to be there, but he's shown up for the last two weekends that weren't his turn, so why not today? My poor sweetie.

On a lighter note, here's some things I'd like to see:

On "This Old House," when the host asks the homeowner, "Would you like to help mix that spackle?" I want the homeowner to crack open a cold one and reply, "Oh, hell no, Steve."

On "Keeping Up Appearances," I want to see Richard stab Hyacinth in the back of the head with a pitchfork.

On "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," I want to see Willow (Alyson Hannigan) save Buffy's ass for once, then pull out a cell phone, call me, and say, "I'm so turned on right now. Pick me up at the airport in three hours. I want you to fuck me until I pass out."

I can do it, Alyson. Call me.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11