Welcome to my so called polyamorous life.

Just because I like you so much, and because one of the goals of this diary is the edification of folks who may not know anyone else who's polyamorous, I'm going to let a little myth-buster slip. Just because I get to have sex with two women, doesn't mean I get it all the time. Noooo.

With Deb, planned sex dates don't seem to work out too well. If she thinks, "Gosh, I need to be turned on by 3 p.m. today for our date," it just has the opposite effect. Too much pressure.

With Sara, chances are that any time of the day or night, if given the opportunity, we could easily work up the desire to Get ... It ... On. But we have to get permission from everyone in the family before we throw down.

This rule was established to make sure Sara and I didn't spend half of our free time fucking (which we probably could) and not paying enough attention to our primaries. However, the fact that I have to ask permission from two additional people every time I want to fuck Sara really grinds my tits some days.

It's like arranging sex through a government office. With lines on the floor to follow and forms to fill out. You have to do everything the right way, in the right order. And I'm not above flat-out bribery, either. And you know what? The home office is corrupt. Oh, yeah. A little green to ease a trip to the garden center, and suddenly Deb's not needing quite as much attention for herself. Mmmm-hmm.

(Above statement explained with more truth in it: Often, if I'm planning a date with Sara, Deb doesn't want to be in the house while we're in the attic. If she doesn't have anywhere to go and Jake doesn't want to hang out or have a simultaneous date, shopping is generally her first choice.)

So my scheduled dates with Sara are running about once a week right now. It doesn't usually get any more frequent than that, folks. With Deb, sex happens when the mood strikes her, and that's almost always limited to days she doesn't have to go to work. So we haven't had sex since the day before Christmas. *Sigh*

Sara's new night shift makes things even dicier in that department. I'm trying not to dwell on it. It boils down to this: Her two days off are Tuesday and Wednesday. She'll also have freetime during the day on weekends before she has to go to work at 7 p.m. (She has this time on her working weekdays, too, but all the rest of us are at work, so she's on her own). So, Jake only gets to see her during waking hours for longer than, say, an hour, on four days a week. Sunday the family has breakfast and dinner together. Wednesday is also a family dinner night. That leaves Jake with Saturday, Tuesday, and a few hours on Sunday to spend quality time with the love of her life.

Class, what are my chances of snagging a few hours on a Tuesday night? That's right. I shouldn't hold my breath, should I?

Then there's the "contingency plan."

Let's pause here so I can remind you why I'm explaining all this. I want people to understand how frikkin' hard it is to get laid around here. Polyamory is hard. It's complicated. It's not me with a big harem at my disposal (as my sister seems to think). It's more like WWII rationing. Resources are precious. Leisure time for sex is scarce. Me, I think it's a goddam crime to think it's more important to vacuum than to fuck. But I don't seem to be in the majority opinion there.

Okay, back to the contingency plan. I love sex in the morning. It rocks. It starts the day out right. It's the breakfast of champions.

Sara loves sex in the morning. She likes to wake up to the feel of someone already in the process of fucking her. No lie.

Maily because of childhood molestation issues, Deb will never, ever, ever want to be woken up by me and my love Jones. This is a clearly defined "NO" area of our relationship. I've never tested it and never will.

Jake, if you were to wake her up just wanting sex, would probably kill you. She's apparently not a frisky-in-the-morning kinda guy.

So Sara and I came up with the idea that on some mornings, when Jake leaves for work early, I could slip over next door and have a little rendezvous with Sara before I had to go to work myself. That would be about a 30 minute time slot if I want to get to work anywhere on time. So far, Jake has not been getting up to go to work early. She's been sleeping past 9 a.m. and going to work really late.

Now, let's do some more calendar math. These little gem opportunities would be limited to weekdays on mornings when Jake leaves the house by 6:30, when I'm also up and awake by 6:30, when Deb is not getting up at 7:00 to be able to carpool to the train station with me (about twice a week), and when Sara's little friend with the red hat isn't visiting.

There's no way to predict how often that kind of regulated time slot is going to open up. Sometimes Jake is really good at going to work early. She's up and outta there way before dawn. But not lately.

So cross your fingers for me. Or send time machines. Send smutty e-mail; I'm not proud. (Okay, I'm picky. It has to be well written smutty e-mail. )

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11