I cut out of work around 1 p.m. yesterday to go pick up Mechaieh at the airport. She brought us porn mags from across the pond and Silky Underwear Dusting Powder from Lush, which makes her an excellent house guest and a woman after my own heart.

We just hung out at the house in the afternoon, and then when Deb got home, we got Sara and we all took a walk around the hood with Angel. As luck would have it, Lucy was out in her front yard when we got back home, so we introduced her to Mechiaeh. Jake got home, and Mech called her Jake instead of her real name. That was pretty adorable. And, well, the gathering didn't take long to become a party. We headed out to the back yard with drinks (it was a gorgeous day), Deb put the soup on, Lucy brought some grapes and a six-pack of Bud in bottles. I was drinking rum and PDC. And I plugged in the white trash lights, hung along our back fence and in the gardenia bush, for the first time of the year.

It wasn't long before night fell and Weetabix joined us. She brought a frigging bag FULL of definitive Wisconsin goodies, and when she showed us the Seroogy's solid chocolate fudge Easter egg (made with real Wisconsin butter), I sat in Weet's lap and declared her my new girlfriend.

When Weet met Lucy, she called her Lucy (which isn't her name), and Luce got to discover that she and Ricky are known internationally through my diary. She thought that was the coolest thing ever.

And then Ricky got home from working out and joined us. That makes seven women and Ricky. You know he likes those odds. He started packing away the beer (good thing he'd just finished working out, eh?) for the rest of the night he was pretty much in full-on entertainment mode with now concessions to ladies being present and sans any modicum of restraint. Deb insisted that Ricky and Lucy join us for dinner, and we just got rowdier from there.

Why am I the only one who looks really retarded in this picture?

Somebody poured me a glass of red wine, as you can see, and I found that it wasn't half bad. Jake said that's because I'd already been drinking and that that was the way she first started liking reds. How about that? I actually had a second glass. Together we went through a magnum of Basedow Grenache, and partial bottles of Bonny Doone ros�, a chianti, Macon Villages white Burgandy, and a riesling. And Ricky, Lucy, and Sara went through all of their beer and all of ours, too, except for that partial bottle in the plant, the missing portion of which was spilled on one of our bookshelves by Ricky while he was massaging one of Jake's arms. But that happened much later on in the evening.

Ricky proceeded to tell "my daddy was a harelipped midget" stories. Lucy got in a gross joke of her own. We talked about people's "Sting factor," which is naming who, outside your preferred gender for sex, you would do anyway because you find them attractive. Ricky claimed he didn't have a Sting Factor; I told him he just hadn't met the right man yet. He thought that was hilarious.

Oh, and earlier in the evening, I told Lucy that I had quit smoking, and she gave me a big hug because she was so proud of me (and you do all recall what a stone fox Lucy is, right?). Then Sara mentioned that everybody who was proud of me had also agreed to put out as extra incentive. Lucy laughed ... but she didn't say "no." Hee.

Okay, back to dinner, which was a soup made from chunks of garlicky pork roast with fresh spinach, chick peas, tomatoes, onions, more garlic, green chilis, fresh oregano and parsley, red pepper flakes, and chicken broth, all served over pasta (cooked separately). Excellent, with just enough of a chili bite. Deb promises to post the recipe tomorrow. We had store-bought rolls with that, and much later for dessert we had pear bake.

Ricky became obsessed with the fact that Weet is from Wisconsin and practically grilled her with the weirdest questions for, like, an hour.

Ricky: What was your first impression of Georgia?
Weetabix: Well, first we wondered why we had to go through Tennessee twice to get here. [Editor's note: the highway from middle TN to Chattanooga dips down into GA once and then back up into TN, and then you hang a right at Chattanooga and you're in Georgia.] And then I saw my first gun rack.
Ricky: Can you understand what we're saying right now?
Weet: (looking around at the rest of us like, "What kind of crack is the good ol' boy on?") Um. Yes.
Ricky: What's it like on your planet?
Weet: We are a race of big Belgian farmers. We have winter weather coping technology far superior to yours, puny human.

Then they bonded over ice fishing and Ricky wanted us to pledge to all go stay with Weetabix in the fall and go to a Packers game.

Let's see. There was some dick wagging that went on between me and Ricky, goaded on by Jake. We discussed how, in the South, you call a guy who's hung "Big'un." Weet got the attic tour, which you can pretty much do by standing in one place and looking around. Did open up the dick box for her. That feels weird. "And here's my biggest cock." I tried cracking the snake whip for her (with spectators standing well away from the danger zone) but only got it to pop really well once, my coordination not being quite what it should be. Sara got to show off her new Hello Kitty Vibrator. Lucy insists Ricky's sister needs one really bad. Apparently she's wound pretty tight. I didn't think about it last night, but it sounds to me like she needs one of those Hitachi Magic Wands if that's the case. Hello Kitty just wouldn't pack enough punch. Ricky got Jake to show her tits at the dinner table. I think Weet was appreciative of that since she got a very close-up view.

We had dessert and retired to the living room. Other than the beer spilling incident, things pretty much wound down after that. Said goodbye to Weet, who pronounced us boring and not entertaining at all but insisted she still loved us anyway, and sent Ricky and Lucy teetering home (where Ricky proceeded to try to pick up Lucy and ended up chasing her around the front yard�I love those guys). Jake and Sara went home to Rancho North, and we all hit the hay here. Whew. What a great night.

It was very cool to have six D-landers around the table, plus Ricky and Lucy who were kind of slow to pick up on the concept. Ricky: "So you (pointing to Badsnake) write stuff about us, and then you (pointing to Mechiaeh) read about it?"

Badsnake: "Yes, Ricky. It's all about you. C'mere, big'un."

All in all we were pretty damned crude, and I can't begin to remember all the stuff that was said, but we were laughing the entire time. I consider myself lucky that not once, during the entire evening, did I spew anything out my nose.

Today I take Mechiaeh to go get my hair cut at Kidd's. Then we've got dinner at Den-chan's 5 Seasons Brewing Company, where I invited one of my coworkers (no alias yet but previously referred to as The Hottie) and her boyfriend to join us.

Moving on - 12:11 p.m. , 2007-08-14

Where the hell have I been? - 12:10 p.m. , 2007-02-19

Holy shit! - 2:24 p.m. , 2006-01-11

Stuffing recipe - 6:17 p.m. , 2005-12-13

Good Life Update - 10:22 a.m. , 2005-11-11