I've got an interview to transcribe and write up, and then Andre's farewell lunch. He's been our mailroom god since I started here and well before. I'm sad to see him go. I'm also sad that we'll be eating at the really crappy downtown Steak & Ale. The restaurant is clean enough; it's the food that sucks.

I had a fabulous idea this morning in the shower. Google Bingo. It's the next rage. All the cool kids are doing it. It's probably already been done, but I did think of it on my own this morning, and I want everyone to play. Here's how:

Draw out a grid of 16 squares (4 boxes by 4 boxes). Fill each of the squares with a word or phrase you hope will show up in your stats from Google searches. If you are the first online journaler to get four in a row, you win. I don't know what yet.

So, for instance, I might fill my boxes with stuff like "my first orgasm," and "my first vibrator," and "female ejaculation," and "school girl uniform." Whereas Gawain might use "goat fuck," and "enormous erect cock." Anenigma has an unfair advantage because she gets hits for everything in the world.

Anyway, you can't use your bingo phrases over and over in your diary for no reason hoping to increase your chances of getting hits on it. You have to use it in a logical sentence that actually has something to do with what you're talking about. You [Gawain] can only use one of your chosen words or phrases once per day in a long string of swearing.

If you have a one-word box, like "bondage" and you get hit for "midget bondage," that counts.

It's kind of cheating to get your friends to do Google searches for you, but I say it's allowed. If your friends are willing to go through 4,000 suggested sites to find yours, you deserve it.

You can use the same word or phrase that someone else picked.

How does that sound?

Of course, you'll have to publish what your Bingo card looks like in your diary before you begin play. Keep your card handy so that you can check off any of your bingo hits.

Here's mine:

Gotta get to work now. I'll write later about how Emma Thompson should be my love slave.